Coaching Tips: The Confidence Game

Confidence may not come easily for most coaches, but with a few coaching tips is it attainable.  Of course there is a balance between confident and cocky.

Many of my clients have becoming more confident on their list of reasons for wanting my life coaching services. For most of them, they can remember a time in their lives where they felt confident, but then life gave them a few knocks, or they met someone (boss, partner, etc) who dominated them and then before they new it they’d lost all the confidence they ever had.

The 10 tips below are all ways in which you can move towards being super-confident, but helping you to remain a nice person and keep all your friends and family!

  1. Body Language: In the post “10 Top Tips for Being Assertive Without Being Aggressive” I mentioned something called steepling, which is where you press only the tips of your fingers together in a prayer position. You can google a search for this for more details. Also in body language, it’s really important how you stand or sit. The “typical” position for standing involves: having your feet slightly apart toes pointing outwards slightly; your back straight, shoulders relaxed and back and head held high. Then we get to the hands – in confidence stances these are the most difficult! My preferred way is to have my fingers in my pockets with my thumbs showing, or you can hook your thumb in your pocket and have your fingers out. If you do not have pockets, then try holding one hand with the other behind your back – you’ll notice the Royal Family tend to do this as they roam about meeting people. Bear in mind that some cultures have different body language meanings… A wonderful resource for this is “The Definitive Book of Body Language” by Allan and Barbara Pease. The thing about using body language in this way is that it can help you to feel confident just by changing your posture.
  2. Looking people in the eyes is a great way to appear confident. For most un-confident people this is incredibly difficult to do – for fear of over-staring. The best way to do this is to look from one eye to the other then down to the mouth then back to the first eye (a triangle). It’s a way of preventing yourself staring at people. More details again in the Allan and Barbara Pease book.
  3. For many people their lack of confidence comes from a lack of self-esteem. How you feel about yourself can restrict your ability to be confident. Ways to improve this will be covered in a future article, which I’ll link to here. As well as these, you can begin to build your self-esteem by asking 5 people who know you to write down 5 positive qualities they see in you. To make up your 5, pick at least 1 from each of the following: friends, family, work colleagues/business contacts – e.g. 1 friend, 2 family, 2 work colleagues. Explain only that you would like 5 positive qualities from them, there is no need to go into any detail beyond that. The beauty of this exercise is that the people you ask can do whatever they want to and you’ll be surprised by what comes back! People often recognise qualities in you that you will never see or acknowledge yourself.
  4. Affirmations can really help to build your confidence – these are mantras that you repeat to yourself over and over again. Here are some examples:
    • I am a strong, confident person
    • I am confident when meeting new people
    • I am cool, calm and confident when under pressure

    The important features of affirmations are that they are written in the present tense (if you start with “I am” you’ll be on the right track); they are phrased positively – words like not and don’t have no place in affirmations; they are written in your own words – if you find a good affirmation from someone else, phrase it in your own way. If you want feedback on your affirmations, then leave me a comment and I’ll reply with my thoughts. The best way to use your affirmations is to write them down (have a maximum of 3 on the go at any time) and stick them to the bathroom mirror. That way, when you clean your teeth morning and night, you can read them and repeat them to yourself. Aim for about 20 repetitions of each one, it’s better if you speak them, but that can be difficult if you have a toothbrush in your mouth. In the beginning they will feel like a lie, but after about 3-6 weeks, you will begin to notice that you are believing these thoughts about yourself.

  5. Find people you think of as confident and begin to notice things about them, such as how they stand or how they speak. Are these things you can copy and begin to implement to build your confidence? If you get chance, ask them what they think about their confidence – some of these people will think they are not that confident! Ask them what they think about your confidence, do they have any advice that can help you? There are very few people who will not help you if you ask them – most people love to give their opinion too.
  6. Speak more loudly – obviously don’t shout! For some people speaking more slowly can help – especially if you are prone to mumbling. If you are doing public speaking though, it can help you to speak loudly and a little bit quicker – it makes you seem excited about your subject. Consider the pitch and tone of your voice – if you have access to record yourself speaking with friends you’ll have a better idea of how loud you are and what you sound like. Perhaps consider getting feedback from someone you trust. It takes time to change these things, but it’s really worth it.
  7. Be mindful of your feelings – if you notice that you don’t feel confident or you feel frightened then ask yourself, “what is making me feel this way?” Usually, there is some really good personal learning from this exercise. If you get no response, then a great way to break out of this feeling and feel more confident is to…
  8. Fake it Til You Make It! This is vital – in order for you to change your confidence levels, you are going to have to do a fair bit of this. The previous tips will help you with this – you can take huge strides forward by observing your body language and tone of voice. At first all of this seems contrived and your affirmations will feel like a lie. If you can spend about 3 weeks making these changes you will begin to see changes in the way people around you react to you. When you seem confident, people will take you more seriously, will be more inclined to listen to what you have to say and may even approach you for your opinion or advice. It’s important to realise that most people fake it til they make it all the time. Most seemingly confident people have their own concerns about confidence, however they instinctively use this process to get them through tricky situations etc. As we begin to speak and act confidently, even if we don’t feel it, the brain will eventually catch up and begin to think confidently, you’ll start to feel confident and then you’re really on your way to being super-confident.
  9. Start with easy stuff – get some confidence that you can improve your confidence. Don’t suddenly decide you are going to do some public speaking straight away – that may work, but chances are it’ll put you off for life. How about first of all you make a point in a meeting in front of your colleagues? A challenge I personally use is to try and speak to someone every day who I don’t know. If you do this a lot at work, then make a point of doing this outside of work. This is a great way to improve your confidence in talking with people – and practising small talk.
  10. Set some realistic timescales – don’t expect to change your world over night.

Leadership Training And Coaching: Clearing Through Foggy Communication

The essence of leadership training and coaching is communication.  Not only between you and your coaching clients, but being able to train your clients to effectively communicate in their role as a leader.  Unfortunately, the average skill level of communication is low in most areas of business.  This problem can be your opportunity.  Mike Munro Turner describes the essence of authentic communication in his article below.

Authentic Leadership Communication

The essence of leadership is being able to see what is needed, and then inspiring others to take action to effect change. Key to successful leadership is authentic leadership communication.

Terry Pearce in his book Leading Out Loud: Inspiring Change Through Authentic Communications suggests that there are three pre-requisites for authentic leadership communication:

  1. Discovering what matters to you: Authenticity arises from an awareness of your convictions and vision. We all have something that we are passionate about, and it is based on our particular make up and our rich and sometimes dire personal history.
  2. Finding our voice: At some time in our lives, usually at a very young age, most of us abandon our real voice and adopt a more conventional one. The leader, through introspection and discipline, must reconnect to their authentic voice and amplify it so that it resonates with those who follow them.
  3. Deciding to lead: Discovering what matters to you and finding your voice to express it is not enough – you need to decide to commit to creating inspirational interaction with others. That involves getting to know your own emotional landscape and how to connect it to that of others.

Life Coach Salaries: The Key For Getting Paid

If you want to join the ranks of people who are able to support themselves entirely through their life coach salaries, the first step is to determine how much you are going to charge for your services.

As I’m sure you already know,… one of the most important things for life coaches to master is the art of fee setting.

It’s probably also the thing that people are most uncomfortable about, and the most poorly understood.

Of course, the place to start is to consider what the norm is for life coaching fees. That’s between $100 to $300 per session.

That sounds pretty good… until you realize that most “normal” life coaches can’t quite make a living from their life coaching revenue stream.

So to make your numbers work, you’ll need to know something that most other life coaches don’t. Sounds reasonable, right?

Here’s what you need to know.

The key to successful fee setting is understanding the 5 fee setting principles:

  • Set your fee after establishing value
  • Early in your practice, trade dollars for experience.
  • Look at the fee contract as a whole. Be flexible and consider frequency, asynchronous contact (email, written assignments, phone messages, etc)
  • Aim for the high end in the long run
  • Help your clients raise their earning ability

Best Practices In Coaching: 4 Steps To Greatness

One of the best practices in coaching is to continue to work on your coaching skills.  Tony Robbins teaches the concept of, CANI, which stands for ‘Constant And Never-ending Improvement.’  Krishna De shared her favorite tips in her Ezine article.

Coaching Best Practice Tip

If you are looking to take your coaching skills to the next level, here are four actions to take today:

1. Review the key questions you use with your clients and record them in a resource file of your own powerful coaching questions – you will find it helpful to keep a variety of questions to hand and these can become a great library of resources in years to come.

2. Check your questions against the four keys to powerful coaching questions above. What changes can you make to the questions you ask your coaching clients to ensure they become more powerful and impactful for your clients?

3. If you have the opportunity to watch another coach in action perhaps in a group supervision situation, listen carefully to the questions they ask. How could you build these into your repertoire of powerful coaching questions?

4. At the end of a coaching session with a client, reflect on what questions opened up the coaching conversation and which were less effective. Capture these in your client notes and update your resource file of powerful coaching questions.

Paying attention to the questions you ask your coaching clients will enhance your capability as a coach, but even more important can lead to amazing breakthroughs for your clients.

Tips For Coaching: A Coaching Quiz To Sharpen Your Skills

One of the simplest tips for coaching and improving your coaching performance is self-reflection.  It’s been said many times that, “Hindsight is 20/20.”  Thinking about your sessions after they are over is the quickest path to mastery.  Krishna De suggests 4 questions you can ask yourself to see where you can improve your coaching skills.

Coaching Best Practice – Four Keys To Powerful Coaching Questions


As a professional coach your role is to provide a space and environment for your coaching client (the coachee) to reflect on their actions and explore the full potential of the options open to them.

The ability to ask effective coaching questions is a core skills of a professional coach – no matter what field of coaching you are in.

But what makes a powerful and impactful coaching question?

How can you create a framework in which your coachee can reflect and so that they are able to unlock the art of what might be possible and the path to achieve their goals?

Here are four keys to powerful coaching questions – four criteria to assess your own coaching questions against:

1. Are your questions non judgmental?

2. Are your questions simple and succinct?

3. Are your questions open?

4. Do your questions reflect your clients language?—Four-Keys-To-Powerful-Coaching-Questions&id=642025

Best Coaching Practices – The Power Of Free Sessions

One of the best coaching practices you can use to grow your business like crazy is the free coaching session. If you’re not practicing coaching through complementary sessions, you’re being stupid and it’s because you’re afraid you really don’t shake-up your clients’ lives in powerful ways that’ll free them from their 5 by 8 jail cell.

If you believed in your own ability to coach you wouldn’t allow your most precious source of new clients to rot right on the vine. Complementary sessions are hugely valuable for your coaching practice whether you sign-up a new client or not. Free sessions equals more testimonials and more testimonials means more coaching business. The free session is the best way for new coaches to practice coaching and get better at it.

Growing your coaching practice through the power of the free session strategy

I have two outcomes for complementary coaching sessions: 1. Get the client to sign-up for coaching and 2. ask them for a testimonial. You should always preframe this at the beginning of your coaching sessions and tell your prospect you’ll let them know at the end of your time today how they can get more coaching with you and if they choose to and what they can do to help you grow your life coaching business.

Once I’m done running a free session, I always ask my prospect to give me a testimonial whether they sign-up for coaching with me or not. My goal is to make my sessions the best coaching experience the new client has ever had because at the end I’m going to ask them to choose me as their coach and give me a testimonial. It’s my job to coach my client beyond their expectations so their testimonial will be powerful and a knock out for new free session prospects who’ll decide to coach with me based on prior customer testimonials.

Social Proof

The best way to attract new customers to your coaching practice is to give them social proof. Many people make buying decisions based on other’s experiences. They want to know how you’ve helped other clients like them reach their goals and change their lives for the better. Prospects want proof that someone else like them got the result they want from you.

Coach your client how to give you a great customer testimonial for your coaching practice. Help them practice for a few minutes. Don’t put words into their mouth, but coaching them in doing it the right way can make a huge difference in what they’ll say.

Get them to state their experiences in measurable terms so others can quickly grasp what you did for them during your free coaching session which really got them breakthrough results.

Measurable terms means stating testimonials in ways that show the following results:

1. How quickly they got the outcome they wanted
2. How your coaching improved their relationships by giving a before and after short story
3. How they got their project done on time and in less time with your coaching practices
4. Coaching helped them face their fears and now they take actions in areas of their life which they never did before

Now you can see the types of measurable ways your complementary sessions can create many new opportunities for growing your coaching practice. To grow a life coaching business like Starbucks grew out of control, the free coaching session can be the espresso for helping you get wired for more success.

SPECIAL BONUS — If you would like step-by-step blueprints for generating a massive income from high paying coaching clients, I invite you to claim your FREE ACCESS to the “Life Coach Salary Secrets” video toolkit. Go HERE to get it FREE.

Create Your Own Best Avatar for Leadership and Best Coaching Practices

Best coaching practices are truly vital for developing ones skills. As for leadership skill, there are several tools that would build up and bring out the best leader in you. These tools encourage you to create your own avatar that can be considered as your best description.

Read the post below to learn more on creating your own best avatar in developing leadership skills within yourself.

Leadership self development tool – create your best Avatar

This list reminds me to seek for situations and go proactively on taking action to practice desirable characteristics so they can be developed and I could become my own best Avatar. A sample list: I AM (my own avatar is): …

Publish Date: 10/17/2010 10:23

Best Coaching Practices: Health Coaching for Behavior Change

These days, with the myriad ways available for the best coaching practices some personal coaches still fail to meet their clients’ expected outcomes as they have applied the wrong strategies for their specialties. Just for health coaching, there are effective methods and right approaches in terms of dealing their clients just like giving a motivational interview.

I can recommend you a reference that may guide you with methods and practices for motivational interviewing in health coaching for behavior change. It provides different communication styles for motivational interview that can elicit behavior change and impact health coaching outcome.

Health Coaching for Behavior Change: Motivational Interviewing

Encouraging health coaches to explore alternative and complementary practices along with their clients are Karen Lawson, MD, program director for the health coaching track at the Center for Spirituality and Healing at the University of …

Marketing the Best Coaching Practices

Have the confidence in your business and earn what you deserve! Check the video below in learning and discovering your real worth, this may guide you to overcome your struggles in your business. The best coaching practices may transform your business as well as yourself!

Marketing Your Coaching Practice – 2 Quick Tips for Sustainable Success Two of the key struggles that I see with my clients in marketing their coaching practice are that theyre afraid to ask for their worth and their rate, and are stalled in their business growth because theyre primarily offering j…

Best Coaching Practices: Committing Yourself To What You Really Want

People often fear making commitments when it comes to creating big time projects. It’s a challenge for many of us. When you plan to start your coaching practice you have to be ready first and you have to commit on the things you really want. Read on and learn more about the best coaching practices and how you can prepare yourself for it.

Are You Ready To Start A Life Coaching Practice?

How do you know if you are ready to start a coaching practice?

Publish Date: 10/07/2010 06:00